Looking back from the tip of infinity

I would like to say that

my life can now be separated into

two parts:

before and after, but,

it isn’t true.

As if some omnipotent,

time-traversing God,

I feel as if I experience it all at once.

If my life moved in some linear fashion

then you could say before and after but,

as it is there is only now.

With this in mind,

it becomes more and more apparent that

what I think does not matter

and what I believe does not matter.

What I meant to do does not matter

and what I would do over does not matter.

It does not matter what is right, or what is wrong,

nor does it matter which one I think I should choose.

All that matters is what I actually do.

I do love you,

and I do forgive you.

Turns out what you did was not unforgivable –

not because I now see what you did in

a different light, or because someone told me

it was not unforgivable,

or because God told me nothing is unforgivable –

but because I forgive you.

The words feel heavy on my tongue but,

that isn’t the point.

From the point of view of infinity what

I think I should be doing is useless,

superfluous.

In the end, the only part that counts is

that I do something.

he was a young philosopher

I do remember thinking once

“Well,

isn’t it nice that he

is not the other half of me!”

And its quite true,

so very true,

no part of me is missing

without you.

And when I placed my hand

on your sinewy arm

I was not saying,

“We are one, now,

we are one,” but

rather that I know you are

you

and

I am happy

you are you and

it’s okay for me to touch your arm

because

whether or not we are one is

not the problem,

not the question,

not the answer.

It’s simple:

I love you –

whether or not you do

anything you ever do or

choose to choose another thing

to do.

You are not any part of me,

and that should make it all the sweeter when

with my hand upon your arm I convey:

I do love you

in my way.