My Redhead Muse

The Funny Little Girl Within my Soul

I figure if I stop it from becoming mine
My day, my rain, my pain, and my sunshine
If I just let it wash away from here
If I pretend its not my greatest fear
If I get through, oh just the next four years
By pretending that I have no fears
Then it will be ok and I can soon be me
I can laugh and dance and swim inside the sea
And I can be the one I always knew was there
The one right now that I cannot find anywhere
That sometimes slips out just to make me laugh
The one who used to be my other half
But now is just the girl inside my soul
That fills part of my gaping hole
In just four years I can be her again
When all my papers have been filled and then
I can forget these years where I was this
And go back to the me that was such bliss
But just for now be quiet, and you’ll hear her in the lull
The funny little girl within my soul

When you are gone

When you find that it is not what you were hoping
And you're left so tired from all your coping
And they keep on saying it’ll all be better soon
While your falling to earth up from the moon
And you’re getting so, so tired from all the world
And all your sanity has been unfurled
And the sun is hurting your eyes ‘caus it smiles
And you’re running all these miles and miles
And God himself spits in your face in spite
Because you have lost all of your light
You know you've got to leave me 'cause I lost
I lost the war and now I pay the cost
But you must leave and this I know
I let the lies out of my mouth flow
And I will sing for you when you have moved on
I will sing for you when you are gone

Tired

Seeing her
I am so tired
Seeing her Being admired I
I just want to sleep s
Lie down and sleep
Falling fast
Falling far
Being last
At the bar
Waiting for?
Waiting for…

You I guess
For sleep maybe
For some release
I don’t know, maybe
Lately I don’t
Lately I don’t

Finally peace
Some sleep
Finally release
No more to weep
No more to feel
Closing the deal

I want the pain gone
Because I do
I sit on the lawn
Because I do
I just want you
Because I do

But really I am
Just ever so
Tired I am
Just ever so
So damn tired
Of what’s required

Maybe someday
I’ll get over it
And in a way
Seeing my face lit
Makes me less tired
Just a little less tired

Sin

I stand there
Thinking that I must get up
Feeling the loneliness
Crawling out of my eyes
Feeling the helplessness
Scratching away at my stomach
And as unhappy as I am
As sad and as lonely
And as weak and unholy
All I can think of
Is how I would give anything
To believe in god
But I don’t
And I wont
And I cry
And though I know why
I don’t understand
Being so confused
The water in my soul
Is tearing through my body
To my face
To my eyes
But I still stand here silently
Trying not to move
To keep my firm grip on the floodgates
So the water can’t escape
And I smile
But it’s unholy
For it is a sin to lie
And my smile is a lie
And everything about my smile is a lie
So even if I did believe in god
He would hate me anyways
Because I am more that just the sinner
And I crave to be so
Crave to get under their skin
To be their one
And perfect
Sin


I found this on Google images too. So strange how a simple picture of a girl I do not know can effect me in such a way. All these poems were inspired by her.

Until

In love there is no lying
Not until you do
In life there is no running
Till you put on your shoes
In war there is no hope
Till you see nobility
In cleansing your soul, there is no soap
Unless of course, you follow me
In hell there is no love
Unless you are a sin
In heaven you can do no wrong
That is, till you begin
In breath there is no evil
Until you breathe a word
In god’s word there is no devil
Unless, or course, you’ve heard