When Everything Began
This was the first story that I wrote for fun when I was 13, I always thought it was awful. But I guess its not as bad as I always though it was, now that I read in over, it has been like almost three years since I wrote it and i have never finished it, never added on, even though I had this whole plot planned out at the time. I am such a loser sometimes, well hear goes...
Divineika
Tyrain
Curtain, Charan
While the wind is blowing, I hear it, the sound of everybody clapping. Downstairs it doesn’t seem so cold. In fact it's warm and brings to life, all that I have wished for in this August evening before I leave. For soon I shall go far away, far from all the places, where mama and daddy took it upon themselves to push me further than I would like to go. But it all paid off, for now I am going to the place that all that was for. To a school where they will raise me to be the one who rules all and gets what I want, I am off to Divineika.
I stood in front of the mirror the dim lights reflected back into my grass green eyes that shimmered with gold. I took my diamond earrings from the small glass rack that hung from the olive green frame of the mirror. I heard a sudden jolt of happy laughter from down stairs and smiled. Daddy must be telling his jokes. I put the earring on and reached for the next, thinking of all I was leaving behind tomorrow, but then I thought of what I was going to. I sighed. And sat on the bed. Below was a party celebrating the best thing that could ever happen to me, and yet it seemed as if this was not the greatest thing, though my body knew it had to be. But it didn’t matter; right now I needed to finish getting ready and make my spectacular appearance starting at the top of the black, metal, Juliet balcony, overlooking the entrance room (where daddy was currently entertaining the guests). Slowly I would walk myself down where everyone watched with smiles on their faces, watching my blue dress teeter about my ankles like a bell, and anticipating the food that awaited them in the next room. I stood up, determined to go down there with a smile, not only on my face, but also in my heart. And as I put on my dark, ruby red, lipstick, thinking about what my future held, it didn’t seem so hard. I finished my makeup, put my dress on, and after slipping on my gloves and spraying a bit of perfume in my hair, I opened the door to the bright lights of the entrance hall, and also to a brighter future.
Ocean
Wattlring, Sinpotet
I watched the rain outside. It was still heavily pouring. It looked like it might hail. I wished it would, then I would have an excuse to light a fire. Mother didn’t like fires. She said they were a danger to the house. Mother was like that, worrying about every little thing. I guess that’s why I tried so hard at school; afraid maybe mother would think I had failed, afraid maybe for myself, just like mother. But it all paid off, tomorrow I would leave for Divineika, and then maybe I would learn, mother said, to really work, but I doubted it. I had always known how to “really” work, she just never noticed. Daddy noticed though. It was a wonder that they stay married, they are so different. Daddy was happy and she, well she was like me, kind of mean but not really, just really quiet and antisocial. But right now I needed to worry about packing my things. I tore my eyes away from the window and looked at the floor on which was laying all the things I had torn from various places of my room that I might need. There were books, pens, pencils, gloves, all the things I would need (I had a list) and, of course, Whitney, my cat. Whitney was all white with blue/black stripes. Mother hated Whitney because she had been given to us by Relay. Relay had haunted my mother and my father’s dreams for three years, and mine too. Relay was a small child with long, blonde, thin hair that she brushed constantly. My parents had found her down an alley and had returned her to her parents before coming home. But when they got home Relay was there, standing in the doorway. My parents took her back but the same thing happened until her parents, tearfully, let her come live with us. At first we were happy and we loved Relay but then one-day she went to get her check up from Doctor Ragon and he had told her that she had Stand. Well Stand was really an uncommon thing, it still existed in Wattlring though, it was here and in most of Charan (the country to the left of my country Heven) and part of Sinpotet (the country to the north). Mother and daddy were horribly depressed at the news but before you come to the conclusion that she died and we were sad and that’s why mother hates the cat, let me tell you this; it was much, much worse than that. Well a few weeks after we had received the news Relay started acting strangely. She would hum and stroke her hair even more often then usual watching things like water dropping and my little sister Reanna more closely than usual and with a sort of obsessive interest. On November 19th three weeks after Relay had been diagnosed we woke up to find Reanna dead. The police came and found with plain evidence that Relay killed her. My parents wouldn’t believe it until Relay confessed. And to our horror she did with an almost empty smile. Relay was hung and my parents have never been the same. Mother and daddy have darkness in their eyes that I fear will never go away. And we, once a very social family, have fallen into disrepair. We don’t talk too much any more, not even daddy or me. I lost all my friends and started to obsess over small things. But I did keep Whitney, as a sort of reminder that that time really happened, because I have made up so many things in my head that I need reminders that I even exist anymore.
Magesta
Catseynd, Heven
Billows of blankets erupted around me like an ocean. I was sweating and breathing sharply. I hit my arm so hard on the side table by my bed that I felt like I was going to throw up, the air was knocked from my body and I doubled over. Eventually the waves of blankets became calm and my breathing soft. I had been dreaming about something. Probably dreaming of that day that was yesterday? No maybe a few weeks ago? But then I remembered, it came to me like the blood rushes to your foot when it falls asleep and you move it for the first time. That was five years ago. I sighed and rested my head upon my gold and purple pillow. I needed to sleep. I couldn’t be tired tomorrow. I must be awake and my beauty sleep (of course) was needed. I smiled. I had showed them all, thinking I was some sort of ditz. Thinking I was just another, Barbie doll looking, face in the crowd. No, I was greater than them. I made it to this day. None of them expected it. I blew them away. I was beyond what they thought I could be, but I always knew I could. It was easy. All I had to do was think about what they would think and everything became easy.
Caroline
Mystenthia, Sepashotua
Mom was watching me today. She does that a lot. She says that I am beautiful and she wants me to be known by someone for my beauty. Sometimes she will just watch my face and smile. She is happy I am her daughter. But daddy loves me more. Since they broke up they haven’t talked much. But they are still friends. Daddy calls me princess and buys me lots of things. Mom tells me I am beautiful and loves me. Life has been like a dream for my entire life. My family isn’t too poor, or too rich. All has seemed easy, just like anyone could ever hope for. Except for the life I began to experience 6 weeks ago. Janliettia and me have Sent. It has taken control of some towns and ours it one of them. Her and me will live at least another year without the complete change. Sent is a disease that causes you to transform slowly into animals. Yet they are not animals at all, and you are not exactly yourself anymore. Everything starts with your eyes, they change, not the color or the shape, they don’t become glossy, or shiny, or foggy, nothing like that. You cannot exactly tell what has changed about them, it is just as if the memories, the morals, the life, the images of the world have changed behind them. Mom and daddy pretend we don’t have Sent. It’s never brought up. But sometimes I can hear mom crying in bed. I hate the disease. I wish I could just die and mom would forget I existed. Then the pain would be gone. The actual disease doesn’t hurt, but watching how it destroys mom and daddy tears my down to a thread. Barely hanging on to reality. Drowning in myself.
William
Dragerua, Vellaundrea
I watched as people walked in and out of the dining room. Holding their heads high and giving me handshake and a, “Good luck Will, I always knew you could do it”, or at least a gruff “congratulations”. I was bored. Momma and daddy were out in the entrance hall, welcoming the guests with a jovial wave, or a slap on the back. Everyone was happy. I was happy. But I didn’t smile. I was scared. I didn’t want to be all alone at Divineika. I was afraid that I wouldn’t make any friends. I was afraid that I would end up sitting alone during supper; everyone would look at me, and whisper, and then giggle. They were like rattle snakes. They would make their buzzing sound and then hiss and then attack, sinking their long fangs into my soul, and injecting the venom of loneliness with brutality and passion. Sucking all the hope from me until I was left as only a small, weak, crippled, thing. Something momma would scoff at in the streets, a thing that had lost all sense of direction. I would become one of those people that went to find themselves and never returned. That was my largest fear. Not succeeding. I did not want to face a future of worrying. Worrying whether I could make it through the day, worrying about whether I had enough money to afford this or that. I wanted a future that promised wealth, a future that promised love. No. Not love, that, I, and everyone, could live without. Sure I could love my family. But I would never marry. No. I would live alone. Maybe adopt. But a wife, I promised myself, I would never have.
Tyrain
Downstairs I could hear the laughter still. I was at the edge of the stairs, poised like a diver preparing to plunge into the deep waters of the unknown. And what my future held was the unknown. I took my first step; no one could see me yet. Then another, and another, a few people could see me now. I kept on walking, taking each step with grace and beauty. Almost complete silence fell out over the entrance hall. I reached the Juliet balcony. I felt so self-conscious. My teeth were chattering, though it was far from cold. I reached the stairs. I began the climb downwards, toward smiling faces, glittering teeth, and beauty. There was beauty all around me. Silk dresses, long gowns with gold stitches. I was around people just like me. My knees weren’t so wobbly anymore and my teeth had stopped chattering. I was close to the bottom now. I reached the end. Everyone clapped and the crowd separated, leaving a path through the middle. I stepped through, I felt like I was on the red carpet. Soon I reached the large oak doors that led to the dining room. I opened them slowly, almost passionately, letting the smooth wood brush over my fingertips, before stepping through into the large room. Long tables lined the room, foods of all sorts spread across them in a decorative manner. I took the seat at the end of the middle table, welcoming the guests to join me. The guests crowded the room trying to find seats next to family and friends. As soon as everyone was settled I stood up. “I know you all are hungry” I boomed. Everyone fell silent. “So I shall make a speech at the end of dinner”. Everyone laughed and cheered. I sat in my plush maroon oak chair pulled the nearest dish to me, and began to chat with daddy who was sitting on my right. The night, I thought, isn’t really going so bad.
Ocean
Mother was in a particularly good mood when I went down stairs to ask if I could light a fire, though her reply was still no. But she did smile which was a good sign. Daddy was still at work and the house was quiet without him. I wished he could be here, not only did I want him to persuade mother to let me light a fire, but I really needed his comfort before I finished packing. I was packing up my life in one suitcase. I felt that I was leaving everything behind, but the worse part was I knew I was going to a better future than staying here with mother and daddy. I went back upstairs after talking to mother, looked at the floor of my room and sighed. I had made no progress with packing. I needed so many other things; I could tell that this couldn’t be all I owned. But it was. I looked around my small, dark, cold, room and couldn’t see anything else worth taking.
Magesta
I walked into the bathroom, small white towel in hand. I flipped the silver switch and tiptoed over my sleeping dog, Tatiana. I reached the sink and filled it with steaming water. I then placed the towel inside and splashed the water upon my face, then soaked it with the towel. I felt a bit better. Stupid dream. I had it all to often. I sat down on the edge of the tub and tried to imagine Divineika so that my mood might lighten. It worked, for the most part. I was still a bit nauseous from hitting my arm when I woke up earlier that night, but at least I had tried a smile and succeeded.
Caroline
I am watching it rain outside. It creates an ocean of fear that devours my insides. I hate the rain. I am scared of many odd, stupid things, like Cora. Above all I was afraid of Cora her dark hair, her eyes, her teeth. She was my next-door neighbor. She watched me from her window sometimes. She also would be attending Divineika. I did not like the thought of seeing her there. Afraid maybe that she would watch me still. But it was a big school, I told myself, she wouldn’t find me, or even bother to look. But inside I knew she would. I knew she would search for me, and I knew she would find me. And the thought scared me.
William
After a few hours of watching everyone dance, they all settled down for desert and I could relax. I felt more comfortable when I was doing what everyone else was doing. I didn’t like standing out, being scared and embarrassed, gritting my teeth so hard I could nearly feel them cracking, tensing my body up, willing it to move, to get me somewhere safe, somewhere where no one could see me, either because I was hiding or because I blended in. right now I could smile, everyone was minding themselves, not watching me telling me to do something that for the life of me, I could not manage to do.
Tyrain
When everyone had finished dinner I saw that the servants were turning on lights and opera, it was time for the dancing. Everyone, including I, would ballroom dance to the beautiful music, which now filled the hall and my ears with smooth gentle touches of voice and instrument, folded together in one harmonious song. I stood up and everyone followed. I smiled at my father and took his hand, leading him out onto the marble dance floor. I took his other hand as we reached it, and we glided along, his hands warm against mine. At the end I threw my arms around him, and a slow, silent tear descended the length of my cheekbone. “I love you daddy”, I whispered. And then more loudly, “You will always be in my heart, mind, and soul”. Everyone cheered and I smiled. “I love you more than the sun loves the moon when it hides itself in shadows and the sun gets its chance to shine its light upon the darkened world”, he whispered back. I squeezed him tight. That was a quote from my favorite book Trainman.
Ocean
I heard the door open downstairs and mother rush to the door. I went downstairs at a run and threw my arms around the man at the door, “Welcome home daddy”, I sighed.
My father was a tall black man with sharp white teeth and a great, yet empty almost, smile. He hugged me tight and then looked down at me. “You done packin’ boy?” he asked me, chewing on a toothpick. He laughed and spit out the toothpick. He wasn’t really a slurred kind of guy. He just put on an act, the white men liked it, seeing them as people who didn’t know anything, it didn’t bother my mother or my father. I don’t think it was just that they wanted to please the white men, maybe they just didn’t care, I wasn’t sure they cared about much anymore.
After dinner, I took my suitcase downstairs to the entryway by the door. As I turned to walk away, I noticed something outside the window there was a man. He was dressed in a long black business looking coat and a black hat he was carrying a briefcase and he didn’t seem to be walking anywhere, though he was walking. I just turned away, it was Mr. Morgan. Many people saw Mr. Morgan, it could be anytime it wasn’t really at a time that you could count on, just whenever he felt he was meant to be there. He was a legend around the world. He was a Remedipenda, a demon from hell made out of children’s tears. Remedipenda’s were assigned to a child after a while of being created, though it seemed strange that hell would create such things, they were sent to help the child. But once the child was happy again they faded in rain, it always started to rain when it was time for them to go, and they went with the rain, became like a watercolor painting in a waterfall. But something wrong happened with Mr. Morgan, he didn’t go away, he disappeared but he was still here. The child he was helping died afterwards in a car accident and the father was miserable and it was almost Mr. Morgan’s fault. So now he was to roam forever in the world, blessing a few with his mysterious presence, half way between hell and heaven, solidarity and water. He was in between love and hate, and hidden somewhere, but still seen. He was a legend of horror, love, hate, and loss. He was Mr. Morgan.
Magesta
When I got back in bed a cold, quiet, calmness took over me. I was still recovering from my dream, cold sweat still hung from my eyelids. But I could still feel how hot and tired I had been before, so now here I lay in the semi-darkness of my room, on top of a cool, fluffy comforter sitting there with a book I wasn’t reading, open on my lap. I was so peaceful, yet so tired, yet so restless, and scared. I took a sip of the water that was beside me; it tasted awful against my dry tongue and lips. I looked out side, I could see it becoming purple and orange; morning was approaching. Never had I seen an uglier sunrise, maybe it was because fear was mixed in with the light orange, or maybe it was because I was still feeling nauseous from hitting my arm, but the actual pain was going away. I pulled the now cold covers over me and nuzzled my face in my red hair; it only took me a few minutes to fall into an intricate dream.
Caroline
I closed the dark red curtains of my bedroom, willing my self not to look over at the soft blue walls of Caroline’s house. I could hear my mother muttering downstairs to my younger brother about how much daddy loved him, and how much he wanted to be here today when I left for Divineika. I looked at the ground; my bare feet were sunk into the carpet like it was mud, my feet stones. The thought made me not want to move, too just stay here like a solitary rock, to not have to worry about daddy, or Divineika, or Cora.
William
A few people left and eventually there were only about 50 people left, when they too finally went home I kissed my parents good night and slowly dragged myself up to my room where I fell asleep, fully clothed and happy. The next morning momma made me bacon and tavlafthy, a kind of sweet, Sinpotetan flower that was naturally coated with syrupy sugar that formed like diamonds around its petals. When breakfast was over suddenly I felt like a stone on the bottom of a lake, weighted down, like the whole world might end if I stood up, instead of jittery nerves, I felt like I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t go.
Tyrain
The morning came too quickly the sleep ate the minutes till all time to stay was gone and I must open my eyes and speak and stop dreaming. I couldn’t move, I didn’t need to I thought, I could just stay here and dream until I died. I never would have to move, I wouldn’t have to leave. I stood up anyways though. The sun was hidden and dark, making the clouds look bloody and dead. I dressed quietly, not looking outside, pretending I would still be here tomorrow, pretending today was just another. I combed my hair and walked downstairs, but one look at my bags and I almost collapsed. No. I just would die right now. That would work wouldn’t it? No. I must go. I had worked so hard to get to this point I couldn’t give up. I heard footsteps and put on a big smile. “Hey mom!” she just smiled weakly.
In a half an hour I was in the carriage. I fingered my hair until it was perfect. I did my face and then just waited, the carriage bumping all about around me. When we reached the train station I went straight to the nearest bench, I felt too sick to smile, but I tried anyway and ended up looking like I was about to throw up on the next person who touched me. I stood up, feeling self-conscious that I was all alone and went into the bathroom. It was all pink red and brown inside and the water ran thick and smooth. I just sat there with the hot water running over my hands until someone came in and I pretended to just be leaving. When I looked at the clock outside I groaned, I had six minutes until it was time to go and I didn’t want to sty around al the people for that much longer. I just wanted to get into the train and read a book in a compartment alone. Somehow I felt like everyone was watching me, waiting for me to slip or mess up. I couldn’t take it. I ran into the bathroom and sat on one of the toilets lids, locking the door with trembling fingers. I felt even sicker, but this time I was trembling more and my insides didn’t even feel like they were there, I was just filled with immense cold and sadness, nerves, doubt, loss, and a deep sense of longing for home. Last night I had been so happy; so why did I now just want to die here? Maybe I was sick. Who cared, I wouldn’t let myself stop now. I soon was outside. The platform was filled with people I didn’t know and I felt coldness again, doubt again, loss again, but just for a second, and then the train arrived. I went to it still holding my information packet and looked in. I hesitated then closed my eyes and walked inside. I looked around at all the people around me. I felt out of place and alone. Some girl smiled at me but then they found some other girls they knew and I was left alone again. What had happened to me? I was usually so happy and proud and friendly. I wanted the old me back, I wanted to talk to these people, to be happy again.
Ocean
When I finally was in the carriage with daddy I felt I bit more secure. Here I was! I was leaving to go to a brighter future than I ever could have had staying in Wattlring. I felt better than I had in a while. Daddy was talking to mother and I was just peering silently out of the window. I saw some merchants kids, in tattered clothes, their white faces muddy and dark with rings under their eyes, cuts on their arms and legs. They looked in the window at me and stood up screaming, “Don’t leave us here, we want to leave!” I sank into my seat and sighed. They were tortured slaves for their parents and anyone who didn’t want them around. There blood was mixed in with the mud on the ground, the remains of children who had been crushed from beneath ongoing carriages. I just shut my eyes and prayed they wouldn’t die like so many others did.
Magesta
In the morning I woke up with a start. It was Tatiana stretching that woke me up. I smiled down at her and gently took her in my arms, her soft fur like silk against my arms. She sighed and nuzzled her head into my nightgown. I carried her into my bathroom where I placed her on her bed and ran a comb through my light red hair. I went downstairs after dressing appropriately for the train ride. Mum was making me a breakfast of bacon and daddy was tending to my bags (that is, telling Tania what to do with them). I watched as she put half my life on the doorstep and as the other half of my life walked towards my. Both mum and daddy gave me big hugs. I ate my breakfast and waited until I could get outside to the carriage. “Farwell my love,” my mum said, wiping tears from her smiling eyes. “We love you,” she faltered and then added sadly, “Goodbye”.
Caroline
When I finally dared myself to go downstairs I found mother making me breakfast in our small kitchen. She turned and looked at me, her face blank as usual. She was making me waffles with syrup. I just stood in the doorway. I didn’t have anything to do so I just watched her hands as they worked with the batter, so careful and delicate they were, so small and thin like a glass doll’s. I eventually stepped back into our living room, small and weak, with a few chairs and a table. I looked around at the walls, painted dark green as the rest of the house was. With red velvet curtains, just like the rest of the windows dressings. It was such a plain, yet strange and creepy house. None of any of the friends that I had had would come over after their first visit. They said that they saw things that they could never forget and never wanted to see again. Such loneliness had come over me that I had hoped maybe I would see the things that they saw, and then maybe I would have something, or someone to talk to, even if it was just a shadow. I had thought that maybe they saw the ghost of my brother or my sister who died seven years ago; they would both be 14 now. My other sister murdered them. I am not sure still that she wanted to. But it didn’t really matter now; she left after she was overcome with Stand. Many would say that my life was hard, in that green small house that was covered in vines, but I was always just there no feeling, no core. So it wasn’t really so bad. Since that is how I was in the first place
.
William
But I knew that I must go I could not just stay here. I felt like I was falling, as though my stone form was now sinking. My daddy came in and lifted me up by the arms, pulling me into a hug. Oh how I loved daddy, momma was so stiff and her false sense of jittery humor was almost unnerving. I felt that daddy would be by my side no matter what my future held and momma would turn her head from my sight forever if I only slipped up a bit.
So, um yeah, kinda long and weird, but there are some parts I like. Of my favorite quotes from an of my stories is, "Many would say that my life was hard, in that green small house that was covered in vines, but I was always just there, no feeling, no core. So it wasnt really so bad. Since thaat is how I was in the first place." I dont know why that is one of my favorite quotes, rather silly actually, since I have such deeper stuff in other stories. But I guess that is just me, I get the shivers from stuff that is only said becuase it needs to be. You know what I mean? Probably not. Fuck it.
Divineika
Tyrain
Curtain, Charan
While the wind is blowing, I hear it, the sound of everybody clapping. Downstairs it doesn’t seem so cold. In fact it's warm and brings to life, all that I have wished for in this August evening before I leave. For soon I shall go far away, far from all the places, where mama and daddy took it upon themselves to push me further than I would like to go. But it all paid off, for now I am going to the place that all that was for. To a school where they will raise me to be the one who rules all and gets what I want, I am off to Divineika.
I stood in front of the mirror the dim lights reflected back into my grass green eyes that shimmered with gold. I took my diamond earrings from the small glass rack that hung from the olive green frame of the mirror. I heard a sudden jolt of happy laughter from down stairs and smiled. Daddy must be telling his jokes. I put the earring on and reached for the next, thinking of all I was leaving behind tomorrow, but then I thought of what I was going to. I sighed. And sat on the bed. Below was a party celebrating the best thing that could ever happen to me, and yet it seemed as if this was not the greatest thing, though my body knew it had to be. But it didn’t matter; right now I needed to finish getting ready and make my spectacular appearance starting at the top of the black, metal, Juliet balcony, overlooking the entrance room (where daddy was currently entertaining the guests). Slowly I would walk myself down where everyone watched with smiles on their faces, watching my blue dress teeter about my ankles like a bell, and anticipating the food that awaited them in the next room. I stood up, determined to go down there with a smile, not only on my face, but also in my heart. And as I put on my dark, ruby red, lipstick, thinking about what my future held, it didn’t seem so hard. I finished my makeup, put my dress on, and after slipping on my gloves and spraying a bit of perfume in my hair, I opened the door to the bright lights of the entrance hall, and also to a brighter future.
Ocean
Wattlring, Sinpotet
I watched the rain outside. It was still heavily pouring. It looked like it might hail. I wished it would, then I would have an excuse to light a fire. Mother didn’t like fires. She said they were a danger to the house. Mother was like that, worrying about every little thing. I guess that’s why I tried so hard at school; afraid maybe mother would think I had failed, afraid maybe for myself, just like mother. But it all paid off, tomorrow I would leave for Divineika, and then maybe I would learn, mother said, to really work, but I doubted it. I had always known how to “really” work, she just never noticed. Daddy noticed though. It was a wonder that they stay married, they are so different. Daddy was happy and she, well she was like me, kind of mean but not really, just really quiet and antisocial. But right now I needed to worry about packing my things. I tore my eyes away from the window and looked at the floor on which was laying all the things I had torn from various places of my room that I might need. There were books, pens, pencils, gloves, all the things I would need (I had a list) and, of course, Whitney, my cat. Whitney was all white with blue/black stripes. Mother hated Whitney because she had been given to us by Relay. Relay had haunted my mother and my father’s dreams for three years, and mine too. Relay was a small child with long, blonde, thin hair that she brushed constantly. My parents had found her down an alley and had returned her to her parents before coming home. But when they got home Relay was there, standing in the doorway. My parents took her back but the same thing happened until her parents, tearfully, let her come live with us. At first we were happy and we loved Relay but then one-day she went to get her check up from Doctor Ragon and he had told her that she had Stand. Well Stand was really an uncommon thing, it still existed in Wattlring though, it was here and in most of Charan (the country to the left of my country Heven) and part of Sinpotet (the country to the north). Mother and daddy were horribly depressed at the news but before you come to the conclusion that she died and we were sad and that’s why mother hates the cat, let me tell you this; it was much, much worse than that. Well a few weeks after we had received the news Relay started acting strangely. She would hum and stroke her hair even more often then usual watching things like water dropping and my little sister Reanna more closely than usual and with a sort of obsessive interest. On November 19th three weeks after Relay had been diagnosed we woke up to find Reanna dead. The police came and found with plain evidence that Relay killed her. My parents wouldn’t believe it until Relay confessed. And to our horror she did with an almost empty smile. Relay was hung and my parents have never been the same. Mother and daddy have darkness in their eyes that I fear will never go away. And we, once a very social family, have fallen into disrepair. We don’t talk too much any more, not even daddy or me. I lost all my friends and started to obsess over small things. But I did keep Whitney, as a sort of reminder that that time really happened, because I have made up so many things in my head that I need reminders that I even exist anymore.
Magesta
Catseynd, Heven
Billows of blankets erupted around me like an ocean. I was sweating and breathing sharply. I hit my arm so hard on the side table by my bed that I felt like I was going to throw up, the air was knocked from my body and I doubled over. Eventually the waves of blankets became calm and my breathing soft. I had been dreaming about something. Probably dreaming of that day that was yesterday? No maybe a few weeks ago? But then I remembered, it came to me like the blood rushes to your foot when it falls asleep and you move it for the first time. That was five years ago. I sighed and rested my head upon my gold and purple pillow. I needed to sleep. I couldn’t be tired tomorrow. I must be awake and my beauty sleep (of course) was needed. I smiled. I had showed them all, thinking I was some sort of ditz. Thinking I was just another, Barbie doll looking, face in the crowd. No, I was greater than them. I made it to this day. None of them expected it. I blew them away. I was beyond what they thought I could be, but I always knew I could. It was easy. All I had to do was think about what they would think and everything became easy.
Caroline
Mystenthia, Sepashotua
Mom was watching me today. She does that a lot. She says that I am beautiful and she wants me to be known by someone for my beauty. Sometimes she will just watch my face and smile. She is happy I am her daughter. But daddy loves me more. Since they broke up they haven’t talked much. But they are still friends. Daddy calls me princess and buys me lots of things. Mom tells me I am beautiful and loves me. Life has been like a dream for my entire life. My family isn’t too poor, or too rich. All has seemed easy, just like anyone could ever hope for. Except for the life I began to experience 6 weeks ago. Janliettia and me have Sent. It has taken control of some towns and ours it one of them. Her and me will live at least another year without the complete change. Sent is a disease that causes you to transform slowly into animals. Yet they are not animals at all, and you are not exactly yourself anymore. Everything starts with your eyes, they change, not the color or the shape, they don’t become glossy, or shiny, or foggy, nothing like that. You cannot exactly tell what has changed about them, it is just as if the memories, the morals, the life, the images of the world have changed behind them. Mom and daddy pretend we don’t have Sent. It’s never brought up. But sometimes I can hear mom crying in bed. I hate the disease. I wish I could just die and mom would forget I existed. Then the pain would be gone. The actual disease doesn’t hurt, but watching how it destroys mom and daddy tears my down to a thread. Barely hanging on to reality. Drowning in myself.
William
Dragerua, Vellaundrea
I watched as people walked in and out of the dining room. Holding their heads high and giving me handshake and a, “Good luck Will, I always knew you could do it”, or at least a gruff “congratulations”. I was bored. Momma and daddy were out in the entrance hall, welcoming the guests with a jovial wave, or a slap on the back. Everyone was happy. I was happy. But I didn’t smile. I was scared. I didn’t want to be all alone at Divineika. I was afraid that I wouldn’t make any friends. I was afraid that I would end up sitting alone during supper; everyone would look at me, and whisper, and then giggle. They were like rattle snakes. They would make their buzzing sound and then hiss and then attack, sinking their long fangs into my soul, and injecting the venom of loneliness with brutality and passion. Sucking all the hope from me until I was left as only a small, weak, crippled, thing. Something momma would scoff at in the streets, a thing that had lost all sense of direction. I would become one of those people that went to find themselves and never returned. That was my largest fear. Not succeeding. I did not want to face a future of worrying. Worrying whether I could make it through the day, worrying about whether I had enough money to afford this or that. I wanted a future that promised wealth, a future that promised love. No. Not love, that, I, and everyone, could live without. Sure I could love my family. But I would never marry. No. I would live alone. Maybe adopt. But a wife, I promised myself, I would never have.
Tyrain
Downstairs I could hear the laughter still. I was at the edge of the stairs, poised like a diver preparing to plunge into the deep waters of the unknown. And what my future held was the unknown. I took my first step; no one could see me yet. Then another, and another, a few people could see me now. I kept on walking, taking each step with grace and beauty. Almost complete silence fell out over the entrance hall. I reached the Juliet balcony. I felt so self-conscious. My teeth were chattering, though it was far from cold. I reached the stairs. I began the climb downwards, toward smiling faces, glittering teeth, and beauty. There was beauty all around me. Silk dresses, long gowns with gold stitches. I was around people just like me. My knees weren’t so wobbly anymore and my teeth had stopped chattering. I was close to the bottom now. I reached the end. Everyone clapped and the crowd separated, leaving a path through the middle. I stepped through, I felt like I was on the red carpet. Soon I reached the large oak doors that led to the dining room. I opened them slowly, almost passionately, letting the smooth wood brush over my fingertips, before stepping through into the large room. Long tables lined the room, foods of all sorts spread across them in a decorative manner. I took the seat at the end of the middle table, welcoming the guests to join me. The guests crowded the room trying to find seats next to family and friends. As soon as everyone was settled I stood up. “I know you all are hungry” I boomed. Everyone fell silent. “So I shall make a speech at the end of dinner”. Everyone laughed and cheered. I sat in my plush maroon oak chair pulled the nearest dish to me, and began to chat with daddy who was sitting on my right. The night, I thought, isn’t really going so bad.
Ocean
Mother was in a particularly good mood when I went down stairs to ask if I could light a fire, though her reply was still no. But she did smile which was a good sign. Daddy was still at work and the house was quiet without him. I wished he could be here, not only did I want him to persuade mother to let me light a fire, but I really needed his comfort before I finished packing. I was packing up my life in one suitcase. I felt that I was leaving everything behind, but the worse part was I knew I was going to a better future than staying here with mother and daddy. I went back upstairs after talking to mother, looked at the floor of my room and sighed. I had made no progress with packing. I needed so many other things; I could tell that this couldn’t be all I owned. But it was. I looked around my small, dark, cold, room and couldn’t see anything else worth taking.
Magesta
I walked into the bathroom, small white towel in hand. I flipped the silver switch and tiptoed over my sleeping dog, Tatiana. I reached the sink and filled it with steaming water. I then placed the towel inside and splashed the water upon my face, then soaked it with the towel. I felt a bit better. Stupid dream. I had it all to often. I sat down on the edge of the tub and tried to imagine Divineika so that my mood might lighten. It worked, for the most part. I was still a bit nauseous from hitting my arm when I woke up earlier that night, but at least I had tried a smile and succeeded.
Caroline
I am watching it rain outside. It creates an ocean of fear that devours my insides. I hate the rain. I am scared of many odd, stupid things, like Cora. Above all I was afraid of Cora her dark hair, her eyes, her teeth. She was my next-door neighbor. She watched me from her window sometimes. She also would be attending Divineika. I did not like the thought of seeing her there. Afraid maybe that she would watch me still. But it was a big school, I told myself, she wouldn’t find me, or even bother to look. But inside I knew she would. I knew she would search for me, and I knew she would find me. And the thought scared me.
William
After a few hours of watching everyone dance, they all settled down for desert and I could relax. I felt more comfortable when I was doing what everyone else was doing. I didn’t like standing out, being scared and embarrassed, gritting my teeth so hard I could nearly feel them cracking, tensing my body up, willing it to move, to get me somewhere safe, somewhere where no one could see me, either because I was hiding or because I blended in. right now I could smile, everyone was minding themselves, not watching me telling me to do something that for the life of me, I could not manage to do.
Tyrain
When everyone had finished dinner I saw that the servants were turning on lights and opera, it was time for the dancing. Everyone, including I, would ballroom dance to the beautiful music, which now filled the hall and my ears with smooth gentle touches of voice and instrument, folded together in one harmonious song. I stood up and everyone followed. I smiled at my father and took his hand, leading him out onto the marble dance floor. I took his other hand as we reached it, and we glided along, his hands warm against mine. At the end I threw my arms around him, and a slow, silent tear descended the length of my cheekbone. “I love you daddy”, I whispered. And then more loudly, “You will always be in my heart, mind, and soul”. Everyone cheered and I smiled. “I love you more than the sun loves the moon when it hides itself in shadows and the sun gets its chance to shine its light upon the darkened world”, he whispered back. I squeezed him tight. That was a quote from my favorite book Trainman.
Ocean
I heard the door open downstairs and mother rush to the door. I went downstairs at a run and threw my arms around the man at the door, “Welcome home daddy”, I sighed.
My father was a tall black man with sharp white teeth and a great, yet empty almost, smile. He hugged me tight and then looked down at me. “You done packin’ boy?” he asked me, chewing on a toothpick. He laughed and spit out the toothpick. He wasn’t really a slurred kind of guy. He just put on an act, the white men liked it, seeing them as people who didn’t know anything, it didn’t bother my mother or my father. I don’t think it was just that they wanted to please the white men, maybe they just didn’t care, I wasn’t sure they cared about much anymore.
After dinner, I took my suitcase downstairs to the entryway by the door. As I turned to walk away, I noticed something outside the window there was a man. He was dressed in a long black business looking coat and a black hat he was carrying a briefcase and he didn’t seem to be walking anywhere, though he was walking. I just turned away, it was Mr. Morgan. Many people saw Mr. Morgan, it could be anytime it wasn’t really at a time that you could count on, just whenever he felt he was meant to be there. He was a legend around the world. He was a Remedipenda, a demon from hell made out of children’s tears. Remedipenda’s were assigned to a child after a while of being created, though it seemed strange that hell would create such things, they were sent to help the child. But once the child was happy again they faded in rain, it always started to rain when it was time for them to go, and they went with the rain, became like a watercolor painting in a waterfall. But something wrong happened with Mr. Morgan, he didn’t go away, he disappeared but he was still here. The child he was helping died afterwards in a car accident and the father was miserable and it was almost Mr. Morgan’s fault. So now he was to roam forever in the world, blessing a few with his mysterious presence, half way between hell and heaven, solidarity and water. He was in between love and hate, and hidden somewhere, but still seen. He was a legend of horror, love, hate, and loss. He was Mr. Morgan.
Magesta
When I got back in bed a cold, quiet, calmness took over me. I was still recovering from my dream, cold sweat still hung from my eyelids. But I could still feel how hot and tired I had been before, so now here I lay in the semi-darkness of my room, on top of a cool, fluffy comforter sitting there with a book I wasn’t reading, open on my lap. I was so peaceful, yet so tired, yet so restless, and scared. I took a sip of the water that was beside me; it tasted awful against my dry tongue and lips. I looked out side, I could see it becoming purple and orange; morning was approaching. Never had I seen an uglier sunrise, maybe it was because fear was mixed in with the light orange, or maybe it was because I was still feeling nauseous from hitting my arm, but the actual pain was going away. I pulled the now cold covers over me and nuzzled my face in my red hair; it only took me a few minutes to fall into an intricate dream.
Caroline
I closed the dark red curtains of my bedroom, willing my self not to look over at the soft blue walls of Caroline’s house. I could hear my mother muttering downstairs to my younger brother about how much daddy loved him, and how much he wanted to be here today when I left for Divineika. I looked at the ground; my bare feet were sunk into the carpet like it was mud, my feet stones. The thought made me not want to move, too just stay here like a solitary rock, to not have to worry about daddy, or Divineika, or Cora.
William
A few people left and eventually there were only about 50 people left, when they too finally went home I kissed my parents good night and slowly dragged myself up to my room where I fell asleep, fully clothed and happy. The next morning momma made me bacon and tavlafthy, a kind of sweet, Sinpotetan flower that was naturally coated with syrupy sugar that formed like diamonds around its petals. When breakfast was over suddenly I felt like a stone on the bottom of a lake, weighted down, like the whole world might end if I stood up, instead of jittery nerves, I felt like I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t go.
Tyrain
The morning came too quickly the sleep ate the minutes till all time to stay was gone and I must open my eyes and speak and stop dreaming. I couldn’t move, I didn’t need to I thought, I could just stay here and dream until I died. I never would have to move, I wouldn’t have to leave. I stood up anyways though. The sun was hidden and dark, making the clouds look bloody and dead. I dressed quietly, not looking outside, pretending I would still be here tomorrow, pretending today was just another. I combed my hair and walked downstairs, but one look at my bags and I almost collapsed. No. I just would die right now. That would work wouldn’t it? No. I must go. I had worked so hard to get to this point I couldn’t give up. I heard footsteps and put on a big smile. “Hey mom!” she just smiled weakly.
In a half an hour I was in the carriage. I fingered my hair until it was perfect. I did my face and then just waited, the carriage bumping all about around me. When we reached the train station I went straight to the nearest bench, I felt too sick to smile, but I tried anyway and ended up looking like I was about to throw up on the next person who touched me. I stood up, feeling self-conscious that I was all alone and went into the bathroom. It was all pink red and brown inside and the water ran thick and smooth. I just sat there with the hot water running over my hands until someone came in and I pretended to just be leaving. When I looked at the clock outside I groaned, I had six minutes until it was time to go and I didn’t want to sty around al the people for that much longer. I just wanted to get into the train and read a book in a compartment alone. Somehow I felt like everyone was watching me, waiting for me to slip or mess up. I couldn’t take it. I ran into the bathroom and sat on one of the toilets lids, locking the door with trembling fingers. I felt even sicker, but this time I was trembling more and my insides didn’t even feel like they were there, I was just filled with immense cold and sadness, nerves, doubt, loss, and a deep sense of longing for home. Last night I had been so happy; so why did I now just want to die here? Maybe I was sick. Who cared, I wouldn’t let myself stop now. I soon was outside. The platform was filled with people I didn’t know and I felt coldness again, doubt again, loss again, but just for a second, and then the train arrived. I went to it still holding my information packet and looked in. I hesitated then closed my eyes and walked inside. I looked around at all the people around me. I felt out of place and alone. Some girl smiled at me but then they found some other girls they knew and I was left alone again. What had happened to me? I was usually so happy and proud and friendly. I wanted the old me back, I wanted to talk to these people, to be happy again.
Ocean
When I finally was in the carriage with daddy I felt I bit more secure. Here I was! I was leaving to go to a brighter future than I ever could have had staying in Wattlring. I felt better than I had in a while. Daddy was talking to mother and I was just peering silently out of the window. I saw some merchants kids, in tattered clothes, their white faces muddy and dark with rings under their eyes, cuts on their arms and legs. They looked in the window at me and stood up screaming, “Don’t leave us here, we want to leave!” I sank into my seat and sighed. They were tortured slaves for their parents and anyone who didn’t want them around. There blood was mixed in with the mud on the ground, the remains of children who had been crushed from beneath ongoing carriages. I just shut my eyes and prayed they wouldn’t die like so many others did.
Magesta
In the morning I woke up with a start. It was Tatiana stretching that woke me up. I smiled down at her and gently took her in my arms, her soft fur like silk against my arms. She sighed and nuzzled her head into my nightgown. I carried her into my bathroom where I placed her on her bed and ran a comb through my light red hair. I went downstairs after dressing appropriately for the train ride. Mum was making me a breakfast of bacon and daddy was tending to my bags (that is, telling Tania what to do with them). I watched as she put half my life on the doorstep and as the other half of my life walked towards my. Both mum and daddy gave me big hugs. I ate my breakfast and waited until I could get outside to the carriage. “Farwell my love,” my mum said, wiping tears from her smiling eyes. “We love you,” she faltered and then added sadly, “Goodbye”.
Caroline
When I finally dared myself to go downstairs I found mother making me breakfast in our small kitchen. She turned and looked at me, her face blank as usual. She was making me waffles with syrup. I just stood in the doorway. I didn’t have anything to do so I just watched her hands as they worked with the batter, so careful and delicate they were, so small and thin like a glass doll’s. I eventually stepped back into our living room, small and weak, with a few chairs and a table. I looked around at the walls, painted dark green as the rest of the house was. With red velvet curtains, just like the rest of the windows dressings. It was such a plain, yet strange and creepy house. None of any of the friends that I had had would come over after their first visit. They said that they saw things that they could never forget and never wanted to see again. Such loneliness had come over me that I had hoped maybe I would see the things that they saw, and then maybe I would have something, or someone to talk to, even if it was just a shadow. I had thought that maybe they saw the ghost of my brother or my sister who died seven years ago; they would both be 14 now. My other sister murdered them. I am not sure still that she wanted to. But it didn’t really matter now; she left after she was overcome with Stand. Many would say that my life was hard, in that green small house that was covered in vines, but I was always just there no feeling, no core. So it wasn’t really so bad. Since that is how I was in the first place
.
William
But I knew that I must go I could not just stay here. I felt like I was falling, as though my stone form was now sinking. My daddy came in and lifted me up by the arms, pulling me into a hug. Oh how I loved daddy, momma was so stiff and her false sense of jittery humor was almost unnerving. I felt that daddy would be by my side no matter what my future held and momma would turn her head from my sight forever if I only slipped up a bit.
So, um yeah, kinda long and weird, but there are some parts I like. Of my favorite quotes from an of my stories is, "Many would say that my life was hard, in that green small house that was covered in vines, but I was always just there, no feeling, no core. So it wasnt really so bad. Since thaat is how I was in the first place." I dont know why that is one of my favorite quotes, rather silly actually, since I have such deeper stuff in other stories. But I guess that is just me, I get the shivers from stuff that is only said becuase it needs to be. You know what I mean? Probably not. Fuck it.
posted by Anonymous Bitch at 7:23 PM
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