Sinner

I stand there
Thinking that I must get up
Feeling the loneliness
Crawling out of my eyes
Feeling the helplessness
Scratching away at my stomach
And as unhappy as I am
As sad and as lonely
And as weak and unholy
All I can think of
Is how I would give anything
To believe in god
But I don’t
And I wont
And I cry
And though I know why
I don’t understand
Being so confused
The water in my soul
Is tearing through my body
To my face
To my eyes
But I still stand here silently
Trying not to move
To keep my firm grip on the floodgates
So the water can’t escape
And I smile
But it’s unholy
For it is a sin to lie
And my smile is a lie
And everything about my smile is a lie
So even if I did believe in god
He would hate me anyways
Because I am more that just the sinner
And I crave to be so
Crave to get under their skin
To be their one
And perfectSin