Me and Life

I went to the mall twice today, each time wearing different clothes. First time was for a birthday party for anonymous friend S, who I actually like. But I dont think she likes me very much. I am not surprised. I find that it makes people mad when I say things like that. They act like I hate myself or something. But I am just saying that I really am not acually surprised because I am not. Besides, it's none of their business if I hate myself or not. The second time was with anonymous friend JS, she is unbelievable annoying. God. She went on talking about her life and how she was raped last year (i felt sorry the first time she told me, but she has told me like a billion times since), like I gave a shit. You know, I have been thinking about trying to find out who molested me three times on CHURCH retreats while I was sleeping last year. The little fucker. I would hella kick his ass. Sometimes I think that it is his fault I am a lesbian. Men scare me now. All they want is sex. At least, that is all he has led me to believe they want. But women want more, at least I do. I am all for good meaningless sex every now and then as long as its safe, but I can't live on that alone. I need someone to love. Reading this back this doesnt really sound like me, nor like what i meant to say, but there it is, no one but me will read this anyways. I want someone to love me so bad that it hurts sometimes. But hey, lifes a bitch. Like me. I guess we deserve eachother. So all those fuckers who think I want to kill myself can go screw themselves, yeah you heard it, I love life, we have a lot in common.