Beginning the Let Go

I guess that this is how I begin. I want to get rid of everything, everything that is inside of me. I am just a catholic schoolgirl. I play cross-country, I do my work, and I love my parents. All that shit. But I am also a bitch in my free time (ask me how). I know that no one knows quite yet, but I figure that at some point in my life, I might do the love thing, and then what will I do? No one could possibly fall in love with a bitch. If I were to fall in love with someone, wouldn’t they know what I really was? Anonymous friend A doesn’t seem to notice, as long as I gossip with her she steers clear of the “but what are you really thinking” crap. Anonymous friend B is a bitch herself, and doesn’t have time to worry about me. Anonymous friend C doesn’t even like the pretty version of me so I figure its best she doesn’t know what’s underneath. And Anonymous friend D is too nice for her own good. My parents of course, don’t see me all too often, and even if they did, who wants to think that their baby girl is a bitch? And my sister (who is, by the way, is sixteen) is the only person I really like, but she doesn’t like me and is too wrapped up in her 20-year-old boyfriend to care. This might send the message that I am lonely and rejected, and that is why I am a bitch, but that is not the case. So, now the good little schoolgirl is going to go pick up her mask and her books and skip off to her room. I wonder if any one even noticed that I was using the computer.